Secondly, I work on queer and feminist projects. I say feminist projects because my work is to question certain patriarchal systems and modes of thinking that I find problematic in the world (a common enough definition of feminism), but as a man, I don't think "I am a feminist" is a blanket term it is appropriate for me to claim. I also don't think Men's Rights Activism or the Men's Rights Movement is at a place where I can get behind it Rather than working in the capacity of a reactive movement against a movement that itself is already a reactive movement, you should be addressing the cultural problems that are causing them to react and looking at why they are reacting the way they do to better address the root of the issue. Your goal is gender equality as you see it, therefore rather than being anti-feminist, be pro gender equality.
Text (would be legible on actual shirt):
1. You have no problem with the gender wage gap. But you hate having to pay for dates.
There is no wage gap.
tl;dr (in order) The wage gap is justified because women take more time off than men. The 77 cents per dollar statistic is inaccurate and based on faulty math. Women are paid less because they major/pursue careers in fields that pay less. Repeat. Same as previous with marriage and child-rearing.
In general I would normally disagree with linking to other tumblr posts (no matter how educated they may be) as source material, but the sources link to what would be considered academically qualified material.
Okay, all of the above, fair points, now tell me why. Why is it a culturally accepted practice that women take more time off than men? Why do women choose "safer" job prospects? Perhaps this is because historically women have been told that they're weaker or that they're less capable in the work environment and have been socialized to accept this. Rather than being told you can be anything, they're told by the media and local cultural influences that they can be teachers and nurses and secretaries. The problem is still rooted in the culture and system that perpetuates this, just because you can use numbers to show that the wage gap as it is popularly portrayed doesn't exist does not mean there isn't still a problem in our society.
2. You insist that it’s a scientifically proven fact that men are stronger than women. But you complain about society believing that it’s worse for a man to hit a woman than for a woman to hit a man.
Yeah, because there’s obviously no problem when violence in one direction is abhorrent to the general public but when it’s in the other direction, it’s acceptable…
3. You believe that the age of consent is unfair and that there’s nothing wrong with having sex with teenage girls. But when you find out that a teenage girl enjoys sex, you believe she’s the biggest slut in the world.
Mind showing an example of the first sentence? Honest request.
4. You hate when a woman automatically assumes that a man is a douchebag before getting to know him. But when you like a woman who likes another man, you assume he’s a douchebag just because he’s not you.
Maybe it’s jealousy and not thinking that someone’s a douchebag. There is a difference.
I agree with the commentary since I don't think the statement from the t-shirt adequately describes the double-standard they're trying to address: highlighting a personal dynamic that has been described as the "nice-guy syndrome" which in short is creating a sense of self-victimization because you are not the object of desire. This is an ego-centric behavior that happens on all sides of the gender spectrum. Jealousy can be a healthy feeling so long as it does not result in controlling behavior or language.
5. You believe that if women want equality, they should be drafted into the military. But you also believe that the military is not a place for women.
Again, requesting an example.
6. You hate when women assume that men are like wild animals. But you believe that a woman who doesn’t cover up and make herself invisible to men is just like someone wearing a meat suit around wild animals.
Those would be the more radical MRAs, who, like radfems, really don’t give a shit about the other sex.
This is like me saying that you’re a feminist if you’re a hairy lesbian who wants to kill all men.
Despite how troubling it is, women assume men are like wild animals (violent and only interested in sex) because the majority of women who experience violence experience it from men and when they report or act in retaliation to that violence, they're asked by the legal system (court and police) what they were wearing. Don't believe me? Go to a domestic violence shelter or Slutwalk event and ask that to thousands of women who have had to live that experience. What a woman wears should have no bearing on her potential to be raped. If you believe it does, you are assuming the former statement that men are monsters because the two concepts are inseparable.
7. You hate the fact that men are bullied for not conforming to their male gender roles. But when you find out that a man disagrees with your beliefs about women’s rights, your immediate response is to try to emasculate him by comparing him to a woman as an insult.
Here’s a little something on that type of language and how it’s not misogynistic. It’s not saying that it’s bad to be a woman. It’s saying that men (and women) who are called such are lesser men/women.
Go follow the link and read what it has to say.
8. You hate when women assume that there are no nice guys. But you call yourself a nice guy and act like it’s a rare quality that should cause women to be all over you.
Because it’s not as if there are women out there who claim to want someone who’s nice while simultaneously claiming that there aren’t any nice guys out there, and then, when confronted with a guy who’s being nice, don’t give him the time of day, and then continue going on about wanting someone who’s nice and that there aren’t any nice guys out there.
It’s not that it’s a rare quality. It’s just that there are women out there who don’t own up to their words.
There are bad apples on both sides who don't know what they fucking want and don't recognize when something good is in front of them. If they're too wrapped up in their own bullshit to realize how much of a catch you are, MOVE ON, it's clearly not a healthy relationship for you anyway. It's not easy, but it might be necessary.
9. You hate when women assume that men just want to get laid. But when you find out that a man is a feminist, you assume that he’s just doing it to get laid.
This one, I won’t try to argue with, because I’m sure it’s happened before. Also, there are male feminists out there who only do it to get women (I’ve actually seen advice floating around about going into women’s studies classes just to hook up).
I think I'm living proof that it's possible to be a man and femin-ist without looking to get laid. But I'm also gay so I'm an outlier in this specific context.
10. You hate when women make generalizations about all men. But when a woman calls you out for being sexist, you claim that all men think like you.
How the hell is this relevant to the MRM and not just the response of guys who don’t wanna consider that maybe they’re being sexist?
This one's going to take me a second to parse out what's actually being said by both sides.
11. You insist that women should be responsible for protecting themselves from being raped. But when they follow the one piece of advice that actually works, which is being aware of red flags, you complain about them assuming that all men are rapists.
There’s a whole world of difference between thinking that all men are rapists and being precautionary. There are women out there who keep an eye out for red flags, and then there are those who are automatically jumpy just because crap, a man’s around! No, those women aren’t keeping an eye out for red flags. They’re being paranoid and sexist.