Takes

We're all tired. We're all fucking exhausted for our own various reasons, trying to balance this life. They're our passions and we give of them ourselves, shining brightly like so many hundred suns. Burning up. And at the end of the day we want to curl up, relax and recharge. We are hermits of the evening, reclusing to our studies and our internet lives. And this, this is the kind of forum where we seek release.

This blog. This blah-g. It's words. They cut: The weapons of this digital mechana. They're the bits. They're the bytes. A picture is worth a thousand words. Compounds and molecules in this chemistry of sound and form.

We bitch. We moan. We complain. We consume this built up reserve of negative energy. Destress. Decompress. Desensitize ourselves to the day that has ended. And it goes uninterrupted for as long as we want. But not here. Not today. Not in this post.

Today I offer myself. Today I make myself your sacrifice. Take this. Take this remnant energy and use it to purify yourself. Use me. Abuse me. Rip my heart out still beating and shower in my blood like some Aztec ceremony of old.

Suck me dry. Set me afire. Dig through me to find the prize inside. I can't promise I won't scream, that I won't squirm and struggle and look at you with pleading eyes. But don't you hesitate. Don’t you dare hold back.

This is not a gift. This is not a death. There is no responsibility in this.

Don't you see it?

It's right there in front of you.

This is life. Rebirth. Call down those literate rains and wash me clean. Suck me dry and make me immortal. Set me afire and face the phoenix risen. I am unbound, unfurled. I dance upon this grave we make for ourselves. Flapping in the winds of change?

Really, don't you see it?

It is the end. It is the beginning. The Omega and the Alpha. Ouroboros. It's painful because we are biting our own tail. Circle. Circle. But a circle is incomplete because it starts with C. It doesn't close the gap. Oval works better. Oval closes the line.

Do you see it? Do you see what I'm doing here? I'm talking about you. I'm talking about all of you. About me. About us. About this. The beginning and the end. It's a neverending story, and that means it's not going to be pretty. There is no happily ever after because the ever after never gets here.

So sometimes that pain, that change is necessary. There's no use yelling, screaming, succumbing to the insanity. Because we are strong. What does not kill us makes us stronger, and all that, right?

We're spinning our wheels. THAT IS NOT A BAD THING! They have to be spinning in order for us to roll forward. History repeats itself.

I'm running on empty and so I give you everything I have left. You don't get a choice in the matter. You need it more than I do right now.

This is not an end for me. This is a beginning. Don't you see? They're one and the same.

I offer myself. I make myself your sacrifice. Use it.