Appreciation

"As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them." -JFK

Great leadership to me means constant gratitude. For the path you've taken, for those who helped us get there. For anyone and anything that does something for this world. For a leader is never alone.

There's an idiom that says never to ask someone to do something you yourself wouldn't do.

The gratitude of a leader is to recognize and exemplify when someone does something you've asked them (or volunteers themselves for it).

So don't just express your appreciation: Live it. Show it.

And to everyone in my life, keep being amazing.

Rowing Dreams?

Dreamt last night I was pledging some kind of frat. It was more a movie gaze than a 


There were like ten of us in a barracks together and it was very clear either myself or one other guy would be the leader within our group, so to test us, they sent a sorority to kidnap us. Took us out on a lake where apparently the western men and women's rowing teams were having some kind of skirmish regatta. 


I ended up on one of the coach barges but we hadn't been out on the water more than five minutes when it was needed for the regatta so myself and the boat driver got shoved into the back of a women's eight. Somehow they rowed with us sitting between them. We passed two men's eights warming up and two singles that looked mostly capsized racing. I remember seeing my friend Thomas in one of the eights. At first I thought he was coxing, but when I looked again, he was stroke seat. One of the singles had a blonde guy with long hair in it and he must have been defying the laws of physics to still be rowing at that point, the boat was so far under water.


We went past the finish line and exit launch and turned around. Somehow on the way back we took a wrong turn and ended up in a narrow canal with barely enough room for the boat, it conveyor belted us past the start launch and out of the water. We had to carry it back and it was mostly my friend Alix and I with it on our heads at opposite ends.If it hadn't been for Alix and I it would have been dropped multiple times, no one knew how to carry a boat.


It was a funky black shell that had fold away handles. Someone behind me mentioned Cy being short. Got it back to the water and the women took over. 


Back in the barracks somehow it was very clear i'd won the leadership challenge but was still under scrutiny. I was showering when everyone walked in. Approached my counterpart since he looked really disappointed. He essentially hadn't made the frat-thing. I asked him how he felt about watching the rowers since he and most of the guys seemed fascinated. I told him that if he doesn't make it he should consider joining the team as an alternative.

Woke up feeling powerful and inspired, like I can do good in the world. Today will be a good day.

Obligatory post-Power of Hope Post

I'm writing this to make one thing clear. I do not need Power of Hope, and for most of you reading this (particularly those of the ages between 16 and 19 who have been to PoH camps before) neither do you, or at least not as much as you might think you do. Sorry if that sounds harsh, but it's true.

Now, I'm not saying PoH isn't a wonderful, beautiful thing that we all can learn from, but there comes a point where you have to reevaluate. There comes a point where you have to look at where you are, where you're coming from and try to understand, how much do I need this?

It might be the moment where you realize that this doesn't quite rock your world the way it used to. It might be the moment where you realize you stopped coming because you needed it, but because you want to give back. It might be the moment you realize you can't quite connect with everyone else because you've started to own who you are in a way they're still figuring out.

Power of Hope is about creating change, right? It's about connecting youth in a safe, heart-centered, multi-generationally, culturally-diverse community where they can experience and grow into leaders through the arts and creative expression. Empowerment is a buzz word that gets used a lot and we've put a good focus on privilege and oppression as well.

But there's this myth that has built up around Power of Hope. There is this idea that it's so life changing. That it's so transformational. That it's so empowering. But when it comes down to it, Power of Hope still falls into the very traps it tries to steer us away from, it can still fail exactly where it attempts so hard to succeed.

Maybe these individuals are introverted. Maybe they're suffering mentally, physically, emotionally because of some outside reason and it keeps them from ever really connecting with the group. Despite the kindness and despite the love, there are those that fall through the cracks. Sometimes they do open up, they do grow more powerful in themselves from this experience, but they never quite internalize the message we're sending. Sometimes they never fully open up to begin with.

This was my second year as staff, my first year at an overnight program, and I saw degrees of this as well as the more positive transformations that glamorize this wonderful thing and make it into this myth. It was my first year where perhaps I jumped off the bandwagon long enough to really look at what we're doing.

We're doing good things and I would never dare put down the hard work, the sweat and tears and hours that go into making this happen and keep this non-profit organization afloat amidst one of the hardest recessions in recent memory, but I'm challenging this.

The last few days of camp, I very deliberately spent my time going around and asking youth one-on-one how they planned to bring Power of Hope home with them at the end of the week, and then often following up with the question of why they kept returning to PoH or why they planned to return. These are tough questions, and they should be tough questions.

Every year I have heard it said, "There are two types of people in the world, those that have been to Power of Hope and those that haven't." I disagree with this.

There is only one kind of people in the world: people. Whether or not you have been to Power of Hope means jack shit. Power of Hope does not make you special. What makes you special is what you do with Power of Hope. What makes you special is how you live your life, how you create change, how you use the power of Hope to better the world.

Power of Hope is a privilege, one that might not be around forever if we're being painfully honest. I'm dedicated to making it last as long as possible, but that means it can't be just a passive experience. Power of Hope does not change you. You change yourself because you see that it's possible and worth it and then you go on to support other people in their own change.

Sometimes true leadership isn't about stepping up. Sometimes it's knowing when to step down and let someone else step up and gain that experience.  So I'm stating this intention now and I'm asking you all to hold me to it. Give me two more years with Power of Hope as a volunteer and mentor so I can give back everything I've gained from this program and then some, and then ask me to step down, to pass the torch to those who need to step up into that same potential everyone saw in me as a graduate.

I'm still learning, but part of learning is learning when to let go of your teachers and strike off on your own.  In this case, I think it means living a full, heart-centered life and constantly inspiring everyone around you to do the same. Listen with your ears and your heart, no matter what's being said. Step up and down in your leadership positions. Make yourself uncomfortable and push those boundaries. Confront your privileges and fight oppression.

It means not stopping at the Power of Hope community, but going out and changing your own community.

It's not enough for me to merely tell you this though, it's the kind of thing you have to decide to experience for yourself. I could tell you all sorts of things, but it doesn't mean you'll learn them.

The challenge I am issuing is not to be someone that needs Power of Hope, but rather to become someone who Power of Hope needs and then filling that need. Do you support me in this? But more importantly, can you support yourself in this?