Can I just say that sometimes you are exceedingly cruel. You don't mean to be, and it's nothing malicious so I can't hold it against you. Or perhaps I should say I won't hold it against you. Does it matter? Yes it does. It always matters.
It's not something I particularly mind, I guess, or I would've kicked you out of my life as soon as we started playing this game, but there are moments when I look at you and I wonder what exactly have I gotten myself into.
I'm not going to deny that it's fun what we do, but we're pushing a line and I feel like I have more at stake here than you do.
This is complicated and not getting easier and the more I try to keep writing, the more I find that I'm censoring myself. I want to give examples but I don't want everyone to know (and they would know) even though everyone who's taken the time to read this knows already.
I'm struggling because I'm still trying to answer that question from months ago. What do I want?
"What happens now, Danny? What happens now..."
I guess we keep going. We keep on keeping on until I break or something requires us to change this dynamic. I'm far more resilient than that and I'm not asking for change, at least not consciously. But it's late. And I'm tired. And I need to go to bed.
