Yesterday, I met Luke's parents for the first time as they came in to clear out all his stuff. They were surprisingly efficient in their packing/cleaning ability. It took all of half an hour for them to get everything in boxes and out to the car. They were really nice, and my only sorrow is to not have met them under better circumstances.
I don't really know what Luke's situation is, and don't really feel like it's my place to air his personal problems for the world even if I did know, but regardless, he does not feel up to finishing this quarter, and I sincerely hope he's doing alright.
So now I find myself alone in one of the larger (if awkwardly shaped) rooms here in Nash Hall, or at least until I hear otherwise from the Housing Administration. I'm not sure how I feel about this.
On the one hand, I like having this space to myself. I really feel like I can make it mine now.
I've rearranged the room to open up some space, and give myself a little more bed room to make myself comfortable as well. The only thing I feel like I'm missing is color and furniture. I need more posters, and maybe some shelves or something.
On the other hand, I'm a social person, so having someone in the room, even if we never really talked is comforting to me. This idea of potentially being alone, while not scary per se, is mildly distressing. I've gotten used to that other presence.
My friends have varying opinions.
One thinks I should have sleepovers. That sounds fun, but with who? The girls I spend time with, well they outnumber me, so I usually go to their rooms. The guys I hang out with, oh, that's right, I don't really hang out with any guys (Kellen is an exception since I know and see him most of the time through Dani).
Dani's first thought was that I need to find a boyfriend. Which, while that is an amusing thought, since y'know, I have a room to myself and no one to answer to for being up late so to speak... I'm not really looking right now. I just don't feel like I'm in a place where I really need to find and be in a relationship. I'm happy and admittedly still dealing with some of the aftereffects of the last relationship I was in (as short lived as that was). I have yet to find closure, and I don't think it would be fair to bring that with me and make it a burden on anyone I meet who's worth the effort.
Still, with this new found freedom I'm a bit lost. Any suggestions?
1 comment:
And if you had the space now, the freedom now, would your use of the room have changed? What do you want now? Why don't you want a relationship, busy with crew, busy with school, busy with distracting yourself from having to deal with the looking for someone?
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